It seems like when a woman looks in the mirror she sees herself quite differently than her significant other sees her. I’ve always thought this was something interesting and have wished that my fiance could see herself through my eyes just once so she could realize just how beautiful she is. We were discussing and laughing about this with our mentor couple last night. We joked that they must have a fun-house mirror or something when they look at themselves, because all we see is a profoundly beautiful woman and they see flaws and imperfections and things they wish the could make bigger or smaller or straighter or curlier etc. etc.
I gave this some further thought as I lie awake in the early morning hours longing for sleep. I’ve come up with an answer. Man and Wife model Christ and the Church, yes? This situation falls in line with that comparison. She looks in the mirror and she sees all these things she doesn’t like just as we the Church do the same. We see all these imperfections and unpleasant things and things we want to change. Christ looks at us and just sees something beautiful. His blood covered all the ugly… all He sees is His beautiful bride. We men see our women as beautiful desirable creatures that we simply adore and even this is a model of Christ and the Church.
I know my words didn’t quite reach eloquence, but this is the best you get from a very tired man. So, wives, next time you look in the mirror and don’t like what you see and your husband comes up behind you and wraps his arms around you and tells you that what he sees is the most gorgeous woman in the world- believe it- and remember that Christ feels this way about you also.
I promised you I would have more to say on marriage, and by jove, here it is! I want to publicly proclaim my goals/intentions for our marriage. That way, if I fail you can print out this page and kick me while I’m down. Oh wait, no… don’t do that. I don’t think that would help. Plus, I have no plans for failure, only for God to consume us.
- I want to die to self and love her like Christ loves the Church and gave himself up for her.
- I want to earnestly seek God as an individual and as a couple.
- I want to be a Godly spiritual leader of my household.
- I want to make her feel like she is a rare treasure.
- I want to do the small things that make her smile.
- I want to open our home to friends, family and God’s plans.
- I want to seek accountability and counsel on a personal level and as a couple.
- I want to surprise her with romantic dinners and other devious things.
You might think these are rather lofty sounding things, but I believe God to be the do-er of lofty things. God really is the key here. Both Keri and I know that our marriage would not be worth it if we weren’t bringing God into from the beginning. It’s a bit cliche, but it is the cord of three strands that cannot be broken. Despite our compatibility and happiness and love and all that good stuff there will be trials and rough times in our marriage and we know that the key to facing them is God. Do I have more to say? I don’t know. I’m tired. If I have more to say, there will be a part tres. If I don’t, there will not be a part tres. That is all.
Marriage. I think I could write a novel about this topic. However, since this is a blog, I will try to keep on track. Many of you readers that know me personally also know I am getting married in July. My angel fiance and I have been attending premarital counseling. We have both immensely enjoyed it. Churches often require that you take premarital counseling before they agree to let you use their church for the ceremony. This is true with our church, but that is not the spirit of our counseling. We are not doing it to check a box and meet a requirement. We genuinely want our marriage to be epically successful, putting 110% of ourselves into it. We are counseling with a couple whose marriage should never have survived the years, but they are living examples of God’s resurrection power and it’s an amazing thing to see. It’s quite an honor to have them pouring into our lives.
I wanted to say a couple things about my view of marriage. The Bible is clear that it is a model of Christ and His love for the Church. It’s a small, earthly version of that divine romance. I love marriage. It is such an amazing thing to see God’s design take place in two people’s lives. He takes two people and joins them to be one. They are now this unstoppable team. A cord of three persons- God being that third strand that holds the entire thing together. If God is not a person in the relationship, I suggest you not even get married because it will likely fail. Marriage brings everything in a person out to light. Marriage is a tool that can either strengthen the two together or expose and break them down individually. I genuinely believe my future wife will discover things in me she finds less than attractive. My hope is that we will grow together and that our unwanted things will be transformed into Christ-likeness.
I have more to say on this, but my brain train has derailed and exploded in a fireball. Metaphor translation: I’ve lost my train of thought. I’ll pick this up again in a later blog.