Like the title? I was hoping it would attract some READERS! I was thinking about this the other day. When do you have “enough” God? I’m expecting your quick answer to be, “Why, Wise Writer of Blogs, you can never have enough God.” I would tend to agree with you. But! It seems like we are ever striving toward some goal. Some point of contentment. I personally am never content with where I am with God. If I could pinpoint a place where I would be tempted to say that I was arriving at having “enough” God, I would say that it would be the day I no longer had any shred of hate for my enemies. I don’t have many enemies. I prefer getting along with everyone. There are a few people though that I must confess I find loathsome. I don’t like that in me. Are my feelings toward them justified? Sure, perhaps… but God would likewise be justified in hating me. Instead, He gave his everything for me and is still pursuing me every day with His unfailing Love. If only I would let Him overtake me and change every part of me. I want to love with His love. I want to have a love for unlovable people that rivals my love for bacon. (There, now I can justify the title).
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I don’t have many enemies either, mostly because I’m conflict-averse and will sooner run away than risk any sort of confrontation. The big thing that’s keeping me from being content with me and God is…well, me and God. Sometimes I hate God Himself! I get jealous of his perfection, I get frustrated with his tenacity in pursuing me, and sometimes I get angry because I misunderstand who he really is and forget what it means that “God is love.” To return to “Times” by Tenth Avenue North, I can really identify with that line from the bridge: “The times you’ve broken, the times that you mend, the times you hate me and the times that you bend.”
Thankfully, though, I’m hating God much less often these days. This has less to do with me, and more to do with him finally getting it through my head that he’s not a huge cosmic jerk and really actually loves me.
I wasn’t meaning to say that hating my enemies was the only thing keeping from a content relationship, I was just exploring one thing. I have plenty of other issues.. heh.